It's probably boring to even write about this. But she's my friend's daughter and it's my blog. So here's the story....
First time mom, she wants a natural birth. She hires a nurse-midwife for a hospital birth. The midwife is leaving town on Friday, so, since the mom is 2-3 cm and 40 weeks 5 days, the CNM decides it's time to induce. The mom gets her water broken.... what? You know the rest of the story, you say? [sarcasm] How could you possibly? I haven't told it yet! [/sarcasm]
Yes, you are right. Long labor, goes and goes, pitocin, mom gets to 9 cm, her mom (who has never given birth vaginally) is crying because her daughter is in so much pain. The baby is descending, but "too slowly", her water is broken, so they won't "let" her walk. So she has a c-section.
Why does this upset me? It's not my birth. It's not my daughter. It upsets me because I want to be the superhero of birth, protecting the innocent from the evils of modern medicine and unecessary major abdominal surgery. I want to put on my tights and my cape and make the birthing rooms safe to moan and stand and rock and squat again...
How can I get past these feelings of sorrow and anger every time I hear about a mom railroaded into this same, EXACT STORY!? Sure, when you "buy the hospital ticket, you go for the hospital ride" but what if you wanted the merry go round, but they push you onto the Screaming Meemie, the WORLD'S TALLEST AND FASTEST COASTER.
Why do women not ask questions and stand up for themselves? Why do they not KNOW they CAN ask questions and stand up for themselves???? Why do I care????? Even sometimes when I have a couple go through my classes and I try my very best to use my jedi mind tricks, they still end up with the c-section because "my doctor warned us the baby would be too big, and I'm so glad she prepared us... blah blah blah".
So, it has come out in the open. I am opinionated about birth. I'm a radical. I'm a "birth nazi". I think everyone should choose a lovely, natural birth. I have to bite my tongue until it bleeds when I hear women blathering on about how fabulous their epidural/planned c-section/doctor who gave them a "husband stitch" after the 3rd degree episiotomy was.
I know how birth can be. And I think it's how birth SHOULD be. I think it matters how babies are born. I think as mothers, it matters how we are born as mothers. I think when we give birth naturally, it prepares us for the difficulties and sacrifices that mothering requires.
Sure, there's a time and place for interventions and c-sections. About 3-5% of the time. Not 40% (for c-sections) or 98% (epidurals) of the time like in my town. These are not the times I'm talking about. I'm talking about healthy normal women having healthy normal babies.
When I'm in a group of women hearing them talk about their interventionist births, I say nothing, I squirm, I chew my cheeks and as soon as possible, I talk about the weather. But if they give me a chance to talk about my births? Whew. I will gush on and on like Niagra Falls about my natural births at home and why it's so great.
So, do I judge those women? I guess I do. I guess that is a character flaw of mine.
I think everyone has secret prejudices. For some it is racial, for some religious, for some it's sexual, for others it's political (we had one mom write on her intake form 'No Republicans at the birth'). And now you know mine.