This is a weird pregnancy and birth for me. I feel like a first time mom, in that I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of what to expect from this birth.
I guess this is a good thing. My early births where I had no expectations went very well indeed!
After Posie's birth, where she "broke" all my "rules" about how I birth, I know that there is nothing certain coming up except the baby comes out. I felt very peaceful going into my first homebirth, although I wasn't sure how I would handle my first drug-free birth and I was wondering how I would deal with the pain. I told myself, "Oh well, if it gets too bad, I'll just go to the hospital." That's my plan this time too. With that birth, I never hit the wall. It totally bearable and looking back, I felt it was painless, even though it certainly was intense.
This baby tends to hang out on the left (although he's on the right for the last few days of course) but I think he's going to end up anterior. I've left the door open for the hospital if I can't handle the pain, but I have a peace about things. I just feel like it will be what it is, and I really can't control it anyway, so I'm prepared to not try.
I would love it to have a fast and easy labor, but I'm not counting on that by any means. I really and truly feel like I have no expectations. You can't imagine how freeing that is!!!!
My only concerns have been my blood pressure, and that the baby isn't as vigorous as I would love him to be. He moves enough, just not huge kickboxing movements that lots of my clients talk about. More subtle and gentle movements. Depending on whose date you go by, I am either 36 w 4 d or 36 w 1 day(only a 3 day difference, I know). So, it's really coming up now. Still doesn't feel real either. I'm going to have a baby, and he will be MINE! I don't feel like birth is close at all. I'm not having hardly any Braxton Hicks (thanks to red raspberry leaf tea I think), and I'm pretty comfortable most days, sleeping pretty well most nights.
So what is in store for me? I have no idea. I may as well be having my first birth.