One of the hardest lessons of being passionate about something is learning when to shut your mouth about that very subject.
I recently went to the home visit for one of Faerylady's clients. This mom was 38+ weeks and her baby had turned frank breech the week before. I was very anxious to share with this mom all the things I know about giving birth vaginally to a breech baby. I talked with her about acupuncture (she wasn't interested), version, chiropractic (which she was doing), doctors I knew who would do a breech vaginal birth, and the possibility that I would monitor for her and get her to the hospital pushing since her doctor had told her if she came in complete, he would do a vaginal breech.
Evidently, though he said nothing, the dad was extremely offended. He told the mom after we left that he didn't like "my attitude" and that no matter what, I was not coming to their birth.
I feel really bad that I offended this couple. I was so full of zeal, and passion, and trying to help her avoid an unecessary cesarean that it didn't even occur to me that she might be totally cool with an elective c-section for a breech baby (which she was). This is so foreign to me, so far from my own deeply held beliefs, that it is hard for me to fathom. Yet there it is.
I need to learn to back off a little, to follow Preacherman's advice that I don't have to "download everything I know into everyone I meet".
If you've ever quit smoking, discovered natural birth, had a sudden huge paradigm shift in anything, you know the zeal that I feel. It is so hard to just sit by, especially when I ASSumed that since this woman wanted a homebirth, she would be just as interested as I was in avoiding a c-section. It was impossible for me not to put myself in her place, on that cold table, in that cold room, being operated on. It was impossible for me to gasp "NO! Don't do that!" When she told me the c-section was already scheduled for 39 weeks.
Please understand, family that I offended, this was not intended to offend. I feel so deeply and passionately about avoiding unecessareans that I spoke without thinking. Please forgive.