So, I woke up this morning and had two thoughts:
"Yay!! I'm on my own!"
"HOLY CRAP! I'm on my own!"
No longer will I have a senior midwife standing over my shoulder to look at for confirmation when I make a decision. No longer will have have the assurance that someone that knows more than me and has seen more than me will soon be walking in the door.
The birth yesterday was great, nothing I couldn't handle... she bled a little, had some thick sludgy mec after the baby's head, some transient tachypnea, but nothing I couldn't handle.
I know I can do it, but it is really scary. And exhilirating. And a huge, awesome responsibility.