She sprinkled some noxious looking green hormone dust on me and I woke up a complete and total bitch.
I'm usually a nice person. But I got scammed on Ebay and think I made the poor guy fear for his life. After ripping him a new one through email, filing a dispute and calling his mommy, he gave me my money back. LOL. POWER!
If someone crosses me, they are likely to get a rather large and unappetizing chunk of my mind these days. There was recently a discussion on childbirth in a computer game forum I belong to. I am SO SICK of hearing people prattle on about how childbirth is so horrible! So painful! Women almost die from it all the time! You have to allow the doctors to give you drugs! There are no prizes for natural birth! Ah, piss off.
Put on your freakin' big girl panties and have a baby. It's just not that big a deal. The question that started it all was "Is the pain of childbirth overrated?" To which I answered a very mild "Yes. There are lots of things that hurt worse than childbirth, like root canals, broken bones and some tattoos. I've had 6 babies plus all of the above so I know from what I speak". Well, that led to a whole litany of women who had gone through birth uneducated, unprepared, unsupported, on their backs, tied to a monitor and IV, who thought it was like going through hell and back.
"Well, if you go through it like that, it probably will be like hell, but it doesn't HAVE TO BE," which led to more wounded outcries about how every culture talks about the severe pain of childbirth.
Sure, some women find it painful. But some women find it orgasmic. Are those orgasmic women physiologically different? Nope. Are their babies physiologically different? Nope. They are mentally different in how they look at birth and labor and pregnancy and even parenting.
Why are women so outraged to hear that birth doesn't have to be horrible???? Why are women angry when you tell them that if they had a midwife or a doula or got upright and moved around, that it's just not that bad?
I never denied that there are complications. I've had a posterior baby and back labor. It hurt. A lot. But I did it, without drugs. I did ask for an epidural, just to voice it, like Louisa says:
Sometimes saying "I think I want an epidural" out loud when you think you just can't stand it anymore is helpful to stepping past that threshold and on toward the end.
But I didn't really want everything that goes with the epidural. Why do women get mad when you say there is more to birth than an exit for the baby? that it can be a profound, spiritual, life-altering rite of passage? That it can (gasp! I'm gonna say it) make us better mothers and stronger women. They don't give out medals, but natural birth does give out alert babies, that have higher apgars, breathe easier, go to the nursery less.
So, what was I saying? Oh yes, the hormone faery...... She came.